It’s often said that the military opens doors for those who pursue it. For Mary “Cookie” Billingsley of Fredericksburg, a decorated military career opened doors for everyone around her.
Cookie was born to Amzi and Dorothy Billingsley in Marion, Alabama, the fourth of seven children. My grandmother recalled Cookie always reading as a child, her nose in a book at every chance. Success came naturally to Cookie, even after she gave birth to a son as a teenager.
Determined to defy the odds, she joined the Marine Corps shortly after graduating from Francis (Ala.) High School, in 1982. She enlisted in the Marine Corps in 1985, and her first duty station was Camp Lejeune in Jacksonville, North Carolina, where she served from 1985 to 1989.
Over the course of her 13-year active-duty career, she was stationed at Camp Elmore in Norfolk, Parris Island in South Carolina, and Quantico Marine Corps Base.
In 1991 when I was in first grade, my aunt moved my grandmother, her youngest sister Sherri Moore-Billingsley, and me to Virginia Beach to live with her. As a young child, she always encouraged me to get good grades and treat others kindly.
After my aunt was stationed at Parris Island in 1993, I stayed in Norfolk with my grandmother until Cookie moved us to Stafford County, during my sophomore year of high school in 2000. Once again, she coached me to read every day. Looking back, I can say it was good advice.
After a two-year break from the Marine Corps, she enlisted in the Army Virginia National Guard while I was living with her. She was punctual and dedicated to her National Guard duties, serving one weekend each month and two straight weeks in the summer down in Richmond. My aunt loved her time in the 276th Engineer Battalion, where she focused on disaster relief during her final seven years of military service.
I remember her being especially proud of her promotions in both the Marine Corps and National Guard. Cookie dedicated her life to serving in the military, and her achievements reflect that commitment. She was promoted from Corporal to Sergeant within her first four years of service. After nine years, she earned the rank of Staff Sergeant and took on the role of drill sergeant prior to the promotion process.
Her service was recognized with multiple Navy Commendation Medals and an Army Commendation Medal in the National Guard.
Cookie always made the most of her resources, many of which came through her military career. She often spoke about the free education she accessed through the military and encouraged me and others to join so we could benefit as she had.
Her impressive academic background includes Associate’s, Bachelor’s, and Master’s degrees, she’s currently a PhD student with only one year remaining at Capella University. Now 60, she continues to set a high standard.
Cookie’s time in the military has allowed her to fully pursue her potential. In retirement, she became a life coach and created IZMA Concepts, a company specializing in helping women veterans through a post-traumatic growth program.
Even now, as she completes her PhD in Advanced Studies of Human Behavior, she finds time to care for her 84-year-old mother. I remember when she bought her father a car in the early 2000s; Cookie has always shared her resources generously.
I’ve personally seen Cookie set goals and achieve them. The military allowed her to become a homeowner (four times). After retiring, she continued her career with the Department of Defense, working with Northrop Grumman and L-3 Communications for 13 years. In 2013, she became a public servant for the federal government, retiring for a second time in 2020 from the Health and Human Services Agency.
As a teenager, she taught me discipline, the importance of education, cleanliness and structure.
A drill instructor at home as well as the workplace, she would sometimes clean up everything for me — as I was too slow to do it. Sunday mornings were faithfully spent at Mount Zion Baptist Church in Triangle.
She was tough on me. Mistakes were allowed but always came with a lecture, which I often didn’t understand at the time.
Those life lessons have brought me far; I’ll be earning my Doctorate in Strategic Communication in the next two and a half years, and much of that is thanks to Cookie’s guidance. She applies the same principles with her three grandchildren, using the same teaching style that helped shape me.
Her leadership abilities brought stability to all of us. Cookie’s siblings, Lee Billingsley and Sherri Billingsley-Moore, often lived in nearby cities during her military career.
Without my aunt’s influence, many of us might still be back in our small town of Marion.
Jamar Billingsley is a freelance reporter for the Free Press.
